


Circles

by Kaishiru



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Male Character, Comfort, Coming Out, Declarations Of Love, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Family Reunions, First Love, Gay Male Character, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Multiple Personalities, Oral Sex, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Reunions, Romance, Sexual Violence, Strangers to Lovers, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:52:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3214877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaishiru/pseuds/Kaishiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a year of suffering things one could never think to imagine, Aoba escapes from the clutches of Virus and Trip. He finds himself in a foreign land, lost and confused to where he could go. Will he be helped or will he be captured again by someone else? <strong>(Set after the events of the ViTri bad end.)</strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Freedom

_'When will I leave here? Will I ever escape...? I want to get out of here...'_ Those were the thoughts that ran through Aoba's mind during the time he was held captive in Virus and Trip's home overseas. Right now, Aoba managed to escape. Though it was a little too easy since he expected he would be stopped by and pinned by either AllMate belonging to Virus and Trip: Hersha and Welter. Perhaps they were in sleep mode? Either way, Aoba had made sure of that as he hesitantly approached the machines that aided those two blond demons in the assault against him. Those endless days where they torture him and use him sexually... Aoba just wanted to escape from that hell hole. And today, that chance to escape finally came for him.

For some reason, his life after the first year of being with those two monsters became surprisingly easy to deal with. Well, it became easier once Aoba decided to accept them doing countless, unspeakable things to him. There was no point in fighting against Virus and Trip. They had him trapped in every way. He couldn't even use Scrap on them. So Aoba just accepted his fate, mostly thinking he's gotten what he deserves. So as soon as Aoba accepted that, his life in captivity became all that he knew. It was his new life then even when Virus and Trip had allowed Aoba to walk around freely in their home without any chains bounding him. However, the two men had Welter and Hersha watch Aoba since they still didn't trust him. One day, Virus and Trip had to leave the house in a hurry to take care of something. Probably one of Toue's people coming after them so Aoba was alone. The blue haired male slipped into a slightly oversized dark grey sweater then fixed himself something to eat. He hasn't eaten anything in two days. Not that either Virus or Trip actually forbade him from doing so but because he had gotten used to not eating as often as he did before. He ate his food and expected one of the AllMates should lurk around the house, watching him about now. But...it didn't happen.

Then a thought occurred to him. He could escape. He could escape from this place and never come back. He would be free. The thought he had previously abandoned for a long time suddenly surfaced in his mind, causing him to shake with anxiety and happiness. It was such a fleeting feeling he would never experience for long periods of time because of the fact he's still in this place. In a world where everything is monochrome. Bleak. Desolate. Aoba figured he would have to reside here for the rest of his torturous days. However, this opportunity where he can really escape easily came and now is the time to take it. He may never get a chance like this again.

So Aoba decided to leave the house, thankful he didn't make the alarm go off unless he tripped a silent alarm. Now wasn't the time to worry about that because he is now free. With each slow step away from that place, Aoba could feel a weight being lifted from his shoulders. The blue haired male realize he isn't completely free. For the time being until he can reach the city area, he did his best to keep himself hidden from anyone passing by. Someone would definitely see him considering how he is a foreigner. A foreigner with bright blue hair. Once the blue haired male stumbled into the city area, he noticed most if not all the signs are in a language he didn't understand.

_'What country is this? And how am I going to get home...?'_ Aoba wrapped his thin arms around himself, rubbing his arms to warm himself.

He didn't know where he was or how he should even get home. Not to mention that he has no money on him. Even if he had managed to find some clothes that barely fit him. The blue haired male had lost so much weight... Whenever he saw himself in the mirror, he almost didn't recognize himself. Now isn't the time to worry about his current appearance. Now was the time to worry about how he was getting home. Or how he was going to contact someone he knows. Aoba didn't have his Coil at all. To his knowledge, Trip had confiscated then destroyed it. So he had no way of contacting his friends and his beloved grandmother.

Something in the back of his mind tells him that they are probably not alright now or even sane because of what he found out when he was in Platinum Jail. What if their minds are already gone because of Sei's power? Virus and Trip revealed to him that his twin brother's power have been imitated in a few luminescence equipment. So the likelihood of everyone being affected by the equipment imitating Sei's Scrap... That was a possibility now. A huge possibility. Koujaku, Noiz, Mizuki, Haga-san, his grandmother, everyone he knows back home are likely under Toue's control like he originally planned.

Still, Aoba escaped and he needed to get far away from this place then go home. He wanted to see everyone so much... Hopefully there is someone in the area who speaks his language. However, the likelihood of someone like that is very slim. He felt more trapped than he had before... How is he going to get as far as he can from Virus and Trip? They might catch him again if he doesn't get away from them successfully. He continued walking around more, looking really confused and lost when a slight prickly sensation ran though his hair. Someone touched his shoulder...

No... They couldn't have found him so soon, could they?

Hesitantly, Aoba turned around and noticed a man with short, disheveled looking blond hair just about four inches taller than him. his hand on his shoulder. The stranger seemed to be dressed professionally and looked like he worked at a business corporation. He then started talking to the blue haired male who clearly didn't understand him. It sounded like he was asking him a question. However, Aoba still didn't understand a word what this person is saying to him and he became frightened.

“I'm sorry... I don't understand what you are saying to me,” he said in a fearful tone, wishing for the man to release his hand from his shoulder. It was obvious he didn't want anyone touching him. And the sudden physical contact has made him very anxious. He's started shaking about now, averting his eyes from the man's as he slowly stepped away from him. The hand that was previously sitting on his shoulder had slid off. Now he can calm down a little before he looked at the man who approached him seconds ago.

“Please... Can you help me? I have no idea where I am and I wish to get home to my country, Japan.” Aoba is pretty sure this man didn't understand him since he looked at him with mild confusion mixed in his features. Of course, no one here would speak Japanese. He's on his own. Great.

Just when the male was about to give up and probably find a land line to use, the man spoke to him.

“You're from Japan? How did you get so far from home?” he asked, examining Aoba from a distance after causing the 24-year-old a bit of anxiety from the slight physical contact. “I should let you know you're in Germany.”

_'Germany?'_ Aoba felt rather surprised to find out that he truly is far from home and everyone he loves. The question is how is he going to get home? He doesn't have any money or even a Coil to contact anyone he knows. Then there's the possibility where everyone might be under Toue's control by now. A weird sensation swelled in his chest as he looked away from the man who checked on him out of the goodness of his heart. And he knew Japanese so maybe he could help the blue haired male get home.

“This may sound strange but I don't know how I got here. For over a year, I didn't know where I was...even after walking outside for the first time.” Aoba admitted, wishing he hadn't because he figures this stranger probably doesn't care. People are rather heartless these days. He knew that first hand with Virus and Trip. Well actually, that's the reality he has been dealt with. Maybe this was also karma finally punishing him for making those who cares about him a lot worry for him. Especially his grandmother. How many nights he didn't come home because he was playing Rhyme and fighting people recklessly? Too many nights... Now Aoba feels so much regret and shame for even acting like that. And he just wished he could go home and see everyone he cares about.

The blond man looked over Aoba's general appearance and posture, noticing right away he is feeling terrified and confused. He also noticed how emaciated he looked even when the large sweater hid most of it. Though it didn't hide his bare legs. Of course, this led him to the conclusion this foreign male kidnapped and taken away from his home, forced to live in captivity. Judging by how Aoba reacted when the blond male touched him, something more has happened. For now, he won't push for an answer so instead he decided to offer him something else.

“I want to offer you something,” he said as Aoba gave him a suspicious look. Of course he would be very wary of others now. He has every reason to anyway. At the same time Aoba is feeling suspicious of this man, he also knows that he shouldn't refuse help from anyone who actually understands him and vice versa. The young male let out a sigh as he looked at the man in his eyes then nodded, telling him he can go on and reveal to him what he's offering. It probably isn't that bad right?

“You need help. I can see that now. So why don't I take you back to my home?” He asked as he added, “Anyway, I am offering this because you need help. I mean getting home to your family. And maybe in return, you can help me find someone from mine.”

How is that possible? They just met and this man is asking Aoba to help him find a family member? He doesn't know anyone who is related to this man. But the blue haired male isn't in any position to refuse this offer. This is the only person who knows how to speak Japanese in this entire country. Strange but it certainly came in handy. Even though the blue haired male had thought he would never find his way out of his personal hell, he felt some relief that he might actually find the light at the end of the lonely dark tunnel. There is also the possibility of this man turning out to be like Virus and Trip... At this moment, he isn't sure if he should accept this man's offer.

Aoba bit his lip hesitantly as he tried to come to a decision. He wanted to get out of this country. So he had no choice but to trust this complete stranger and help him out as well.

“Okay. I'll help you,” he said as he looked at him directly in his eyes. “But you have to help me... I don't know German and I really wish to get back to my own family in Japan.” It's the complete truth. He wanted to get home more than anything and there is no way he can do that without any help. And he honestly doesn't know if he should use his power. No, this stranger is helping him out of the goodness of his heart even if he wanted something out of it. Aoba decided he isn't going to use his power. Unless this man decides to do something he doesn't want him to do. Like Virus and Trip had done to him for over a year. Those long eighteen months of endless suffering.

Even though Aoba felt close to nothing now, he still didn't want anyone touching him the way they did. He felt disgusting. No, he still feels disgusting because of what those two had done to him for the longest time. It felt as though he was crawling with germs and if anyone were to touch him, they would get sick. And then he would feel even dirtier and blame himself for being so dirty... As much as he wishes to forget since he ran away, the blue haired male knows he can't do that now. He can never forget what has transpired those eighteen months. For now, Aoba is just happy he is now free and with this man's help he may be able to go home. Just knowing that filled him with such relief caused tears to well up in his eyes and it concerned the one who intends to help him.

“Are you alright?” he asked, reaching out his hand to touch him. Aoba noticed this and immediately flinched, backing away from the advancing extremity. Aoba really didn't want this man to touch him. The man had lowered his hand when he noticed Aoba's anxiety. “Let me take you back to my place. You can rest there as long as you please before you can help me out. And maybe you can tell me what happened.”

That may not be possible since this was something he can't talk about so easily. It should be obvious what happened. Though not everyone can tell what happened to him by first glance. And he definitely didn't want to tell anyone about it let alone this man. Aoba bit his lip, looking away from the man as he kept silent. The man took this as a sign that the other male didn't want to say anything.

_'Just don't touch me,'_ He thought to himself as he eyed the stranger in front of him before wiping the corner of his eyes with his index finger. Aoba's lips trembled slightly as he opened it to talk to the man or at least ask him something.

“...Before I go with you and help you, how do I know I can trust you with anything?” he asked, staring at the other man suspiciously as his breathing became a little uneven when he tried to utter the next few words. “How do I know you won't t-try to...”

_'I can't say it... Just thinking about it hurts. I rather not remember it anymore...'_

“I think that's for you to judge on your own. I can't tell what you've been through and I definitely can't tell you whether or not you'll be able to trust me,” the man said as he refrained from touching Aoba due to the reaction he had received when he reached out for him moments earlier. Instead, he gave him a small but genuine smile. “I can tell you that I do promise to help you.”

“Even though you want me to help you out in return,” Aoba finished his sentence for him. It sounded a bit rude even though Aoba had no intention of sounding that way.

“That's right.”

“Well, I will help you. But if you try anything, I will destroy you.” He threatened, glaring at the man despite the terror he felt. The suddenness of everything changing around him was almost overwhelming. He definitely didn't trust this person and he couldn't risk being tortured like he had been for such a long time. However, he needed a way to get out of this country. This was the only way he could possibly escape even if it'll take a little bit longer. For now, he's away from those two monsters.

The man didn't seem to fear the blunet's threat but instead nodded, taking him seriously before he spoke to him. “I won't try anything. I just need a favor from you. Nothing more. I promise to help you get home to your country.”

Aoba still couldn't relax because he may have escaped but he isn't out of danger yet. He knew this. If Virus and Trip had already came home and found he isn't there, they may be in the city searching for him. And because the male does not have much of a stamina from not being physically active, they could catch him easily. Then he'll probably get even worse treatment than he had been getting for those eighteen months in captivity. If he's captured and he has to deal with that nightmare again, Aoba is sure he'll try to commit suicide this time. Or at least try to. That way he'll find peace if he happens to go back to that hell again. The thought of going back there sent chills down his spine. He never wants to go back there. He would honestly rather die than go back to that bleak, monochrome prison. Memories of every depraved, unspeakable things involving those two blonds happened to him popped into his head as if it happened minutes ago. The blunet let out a shaky breath as he held himself, trying to keep himself from falling apart. Especially in front of this stranger who seemed genuinely concerned for his well-being.

“Hey, I don't know what happened to you but it's over now,” the man said, still keeping his hands to himself. “I won't hurt you. Maybe you won't believe what I'm promising but it's the truth. Anyway, would you come with me so I can take you to my home?”

The question somewhat confused Aoba for a moment like the other man had slipped into speaking German to him again. He wasn't sure if he should actually go along with him but the idea of going home seemed like a really good idea right now. So without another thought, Aoba nodded then looked directly into the man's eyes.

“I'll go with you,” he said before changing his tone of voice, sounding commanding to the man then. “Don't try anything funny. Don't even think of trying anything funny.”

After a few moments passed, the man stared at Aoba then nodded, looking somewhat spaced out before he spoke to the blunet. “I won't try anything. I promise.” he said again before walking Aoba to his car, still refusing to make any sort of physical contact with the other. He knew that would send a wave of panic in Aoba otherwise. It was clear that Aoba used his Scrap on the blond but it was to ensure his safety. Immediately, he had a splitting headache and he held his head as he fought to keep his consciousness intact.

“Hey, are you alright?” asked the blond as he hesitated on touching Aoba when he moved to help him.

“I will be. I just...need to rest,” Aoba answered as he thought of an important question to ask the blond. “What is your name...?”

He needed to know this because this man is helping him after all.

“Theo.”

That was the last thing Aoba had heard before he had lost consciousness because of the insufferable pain he was experiencing. Everything in his field of vision had fade to black then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's note:** New DMMD fanfiction~ I'm nervous about this but excited. I had this story idea in my head for six months. Thanks to the NoiAo drama cd that came out in December 2014, I gotta say that Theo showing up is wonderful because now I don't have to use a fake name for him in this fanfiction. eheh So yeah. I do hope this fanfiction will turn out well despite my lack of planning on this one. :D (Warnings may change depending on how the events are. Lets see how the story goes, yes?)


	2. Still

Voices devoid of any emotion surrounded him as he was violated many times. It hurt whenever they had him at the same time. It felt like he will tear in two from the inside. If he bled out and died on the spot, Aoba wouldn't have cared at all. This was wrong. This was so wrong. His body was already attuned to those blond demons whenever they violated him. Up until forcing him to orgasm. One would like this if it was consensual but it wasn't... The male wished he could have died so he won't have to suffer through this anymore. Some part of him still begged for god or whoever to free him from this endless nightmare. He never came to his rescue. Maybe it was because god wanted him to suffer... Aoba felt like he deserved it anyway. It was clear he could do nothing else but deal with what he was presented with. He has to lie in the bed that he made for himself by associating himself with Virus and Trip. For having the power to destroy others. Just everything.

The male shut his eyes so he could tune out his surroundings as he always had. But, he could hear the laughs from both his former “fans." Even while they continued to do as they please to him. There were times they entered Aoba without any preparation at all. That is if he hadn't been “good” on that particular day. It didn't matter the reason. They still hurt him because it was training. His cries and pleas died down as he forced himself to black out at those times. There was no way he wanted to suffer through each sexual assault from them.... Or Hersha and Welter while conscious. Why he still had some shred of dignity left after all that time has passed was beyond him...

———

Aoba woke up with quite a start. His heart beating a thousand miles a minute as the sense of reality came back to him. The pain in his head wasn't so bad but it was still there even as his surroundings came into focus. Soon, the male had noticed he was in a rather spacious bedroom. It was a little plain and didn't have too much furniture inside. But had beige wallpaper with intricate patterns on them. Were they small crowns? How strange and rather cliché for a rich person's house... The patterns itself was an eyesore. At least it's better than staring at four charcoal black walls for the last year and a half. He never wants to return to that place ever again. He hopes he doesn't return to that place. If Aoba does return, he feels like he would die then.

Being careful, the male sat up so he could look around the room a little better. But Aoba was stopped by the same blond male who had rescued him before. Theo. He was sitting beside the bed as if he was waiting for Aoba to wake up. Of course Aoba flinched a little at the touch but he didn't move away from Theo. Instead, he just let the blond push him back down onto the comfortable bed. Then Aoba let his own body sink into the mattress once again. Aoba was happy he is still in his clothes or lack thereof. It would have alarmed him if he had been naked in some strange man's bed.

“It's too soon for you to move,” said Theo as he moved his hand away from Aoba. “From the looks of it, you haven't eaten in a while. And the way you passed out has me feeling rather concerned for you... And you've slept for a full day.”

The blue haired male seemed a bit out of it as he looked around the room. It took him a moment to get used to his surroundings and realize he wasn't in that other place. He didn't hear Theo ask him for his name so he glanced at him, looking confused.

“What is your name?” Theo asked him, wishing to know who he was.

“Aoba Seragaki...” he murmured loud enough for Theo to be able to hear him. “Where am I?” Aoba's voice sounding groggy as if he slept a long while.

“My home,” Theo answered Aoba in a casual tone before he added. “Well actually this is my parents' home, but I still live here with them. It may be rather unorthodox to them that I brought a stranger home. But, I couldn't just ignore someone who needed help. So I brought you here after you passed out.”

“Do you normally help strangers...?” Aoba asked, sounding rather incredulous. He knew that Theo wanted something from him. Even when he knew the said male he actually cares for his well-being. Still, just seemed out of place to Aoba. He hoped the blond male didn't have any hidden agendas for him in the long run. If he did, Aoba could always use his power. That was his only method of defense against people now. He was already weak from not having much food or water.

“Everyone in this country is usually self-reliant,” Theo answered with a small chuckle. “But people are still kind to each other in Germany.”

Aoba didn't want to argue with that. He found that Theo was kind and he did go through the trouble of bringing him here. Even though he had trouble finding someone who spoke Japanese, he was glad Theo had showed up when he did. If the blue haired male had to help Theo in exchange for getting back to Japan, he will do it. He knew what it's like to be far from his own family. All the more reason to reunite the blond with his older brother. It would be nice to see them happy and together again.

Though this kind of brings his thoughts to another question. An important one. The male had opened his mouth once more to ask the blond a question.

“So...who is your brother?” he asked, wanting to know who exactly he's looking for.

Theo wasn't sure if Aoba knew his brother. Though that didn't stop him from reaching his hand into his pocket to pull out a wallet. He then flipped it open. It had a picture of a young boy, who seemed to be a smaller version of Theo himself. The child looked to be about six years old and had bruises and cuts on various parts of himself. His facial expression was rather void of any happiness or even joy. To the blue haired male, he seemed rather grumpy. Though something about him seemed rather familiar...

“My brother, Wilhelm. He wasn't like other kids,” Theo began as Aoba took the wallet to get a closer look at the child. “I didn't know why at the time. Even when I noticed him getting into altercations with the other kids his age. My parents always said he was troublesome but I don't believe that. My older brother was always a gentle person with me. I always loved spending time with him but...”

“But?”

“Because brother was so dangerous, my parents locked him away. His food was brought to him. And he had a bathroom in his room so he could use the toilet or even take a shower whenever he needed.” Theo looked off to the side. “As time went on, I realized that my brother was a prisoner in his own home. He must have felt really lonely. Whenever I went to see Wilhelm, I could hear him crying. It broke my heart to hear him so distraught...”

While listening to Theo, Aoba had heard the slight change his voice tone. It seemed more saddened now. Especially now that he's talking about his brother. Did something bad happen to Theo's brother? Did he go missing? Did he die? The thought made Aoba anxious. And he figures his grandmother and his friends are thinking of the worst for him right now. He has been missing for eighteen months so it's likely they think he's dead. It just broke his heart to think about.

“That sounds cruel...” Aoba murmured, completely sympathizing with Theo's brother. Though, the blue haired male can verify that what he went through was much worse. Not that he was trying to gain sympathy for himself, but because he knew how they felt. Being alone, trapped with no one to hear your cries of anguish. Or even answer your prayers. Yes, Aoba definitely knew what it was like. His face turned pale. He tried to force those thoughts out of his mind again as his hands balled into tight fists.

“I get that my parents wanted to protect me but they did it all wrong. And they kept me from seeing my own brother for years before we found out he escaped and ran away.” Theo murmured as he the looked at Aoba, now feeling concerned for him again. “Are you alright?”

It was obvious he wasn't. The memories of his time with Virus and Trip were fresh as if they just happened yesterday. For a while, they haven't done anything with him and it was a bit a reprieve. Though, he always worries they might actually find some time to hurt him. Aoba hated how his body immediately responded to their touches. Like he was a toy to them. No, that was exactly what Aoba was to Virus and Trip. He was just beautiful a toy for them to use. A living doll. And for a while, Aoba attempted to act the part. He wanted to be that part because it will become easier to deal with the torture then.

That was until Aoba was finally able to escape from where he was held captive. Now he needed to stop remembering what Virus and Trip had done to him. Unfortunately, it wasn't so easy. His mind kept remembering. His body remembered. He couldn't help it as much as he wanted to. His vision went black . Aoba felt his chest tighten. He let out shaky gasps when more of the horrid memories flowed into him.

“Aoba-san?”

Theo's concerned voice couldn't reach Aoba at all. All that existed in his mind werenothing else but Virus and Trip's voices. The memories of whenever they took turns touching and raping him... Countless times of them claiming they “loved” him flowed into his mind. It was as if a dam had broke inside of it. Two similar faces appeared in the front of his mind, full of amusement. Even as they watched the male cower in front of them.

_'Stop... Stop it... Please stop...! Don't touch me. Get away from me!'_

When Theo tried to touch him again, his fingers ended up grazing a strand of Aoba's hair. It was enough for Aoba to slap his hand away and he ended up screaming. He felt absolutely terrified even when he shouldn't be right now. The person here wasn't either of his abusers nor was he even close to being like them. Still, Aoba currently doesn't realize that fact. He's too consumed with fear.

“Get away from me! Don't touch me!!” Aoba scrambled away from Theo's touch then. He scrambled away from the male even as he fell off the bed, pulling the blankets along with him. He didn't care if he felt pain from falling onto his left hand. It hurt a lot as he tried to crawl away from Theo and ended up bumping into the wall.

Theo was alarmed with what he just seen and he had no idea what to do next other than try to console Aoba. Despite knowing he shouldn't touch him, Theo wanted Aoba to know he wasn't like his kidnappers. He wasn't bothered by the fact Aoba slapped his hand away. He was more worried if anything and he wanted to help the other male.

Slowly, he stood to his feet and walked around the bed so he could be a little closer to Aoba. But, he still kept his distance and just sat on the bed. Aoba back into a corner, pulling his legs close to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Gasping sobs escaped from his lips as the painful memories began to consume him again.

“Aoba-san... I don't intend to hurt you. I wouldn't think of it,” Theo reassured him in a calm and gentle manner. Aoba could hear the way Theo's voice sounded over his sobbing. Because of that, the blue haired male realized Theo doesn't wish to harm him. Though, he still remained on his guard as he looked up at the male. Those bright green eyes looking at him, filled with obvious worry for him. If it wasn't filled with worry, then Aoba would be concerned. Then he would try to find some way to get out of there.

Aoba watched Theo for a moment, making sure the male wouldn't reach out to touch him again. The blond opened his mouth to speak to him.

“Aoba-san... I'm sorry if I triggered a bad memory of yours.” he said, keeping his distance as he asked him. “If I may ask, did someone kidnap you and kept you hostage?”

_'It has to be it, right? There is no way he would be in a foreign country without any knowledge of it. Unless he's kidnapped...'_ he thought to himself as he watched Aoba's expression. Of course the other male still seemed terrified of his surroundings. And what could happen at anytime whether it was from this blond or Virus and Trip. Theo understood why somewhat despite not knowing what actually happened. When the time comes, Aoba may tell him in the future if given the chance. That is if they happen to become friends.

The blue haired male nodded at Theo's question slowly and spoke to him in a small voice. “I...didn't know where I am. They just brought me to a far away place...”

“I knew I was far from home but I wasn't sure how far. Now I'm in a country where anyone hardly speaks Japanese.” A wry smile came across Aoba's features even while his face is streaked with tears. “I guess it's lucky that you came along. I'm glad about that because I would have been lost forever otherwise.”

_'They even took away my coil and destroyed it. I know they did since I don't have any of my other belongings... Virus and Trip... They intended to close me off from the world I had been in before...'_

“If that's the case, then I feel guilty for asking for your help, Aoba-san.” Theo murmured as the other male shook his head. The headache may have dulled since he slept but Aoba inexplicably made it worse. He held his head for a moment as if to calm it down before he spoke to Theo.

“I wanted to help you. I mean, we're trying to reach the same goal, right?” Theo nodded then, attempting to keep eye contact with Aoba who gave him a small smile. Though that smile was forced. “Then don't worry about it so much.”

It was true that Theo wished to find his brother and he bribed Aoba. There was no mistaking that. Yet, he was aware that Aoba needed help. Not to mention, of course, he was in a foreign country without a coil to help him get around. Theo had to help him. He wanted to. So that led him to bring Aoba home with him. He had a feeling the male could provide some sort of insight on where his older brother may be. Theo has a feeling he is still alive and he intends to find him even if it exhausts him.

“You're right, Aoba-san,” Theo smiled at Aoba then, lightly grabbed the male's hand. Aoba flinched but he didn't move away this time. “I know I may have bribed you. Okay I did bribe you but, I wish to help you get home even if we don't succeed in finding my older brother.”

“I think we're going to find him.” Aoba reassured Theo, still wanting to pull his hand away. He didn't want to dirty this person with his germs. He was too good and pure...

“My parents are starting to give up but I don't want to. So I figure if I keep searching, I will find him. Now that you're here, I'm sure we'll be able to find him soon.” Theo said, sounding more optimistic by the minute.

“I can understand that...”

“I know that because I'm sure you have a family and friends who want you back in Japan.” Aoba nodded.

Though, he wasn't sure if he should return to them because of what happened to him. He felt so tainted. Disgusting. If someone were to look at him, they would see someone whose body loved what it was subjected to. So he figured, would his grandmother want him back? Would Koujaku? Clear? Everyone he knows... Would they all want him back in Japan with them if they knew what happened? He feels like they would reject him if they found out what happened to him. And also think he was dirty. Even Aoba thought he was dirty himself. He felt like he was crawling with germs. Because of that, he didn't want anyone touching him to get those germs either.

While he was deep in his self degrading thoughts, Theo had to get his attention again. He asked him if he was alright and Aoba shook his head.

“I don't think I'm alright. I... For the first time in a year and a half, I feel like I can breathe again. Being free from my captors is so surreal... It all seems like a dream to me,” he murmured. Aoba pulled the blankets wrapped around himself tighter before continuing. “I don't know how to feel about that.”

'It scares me. I'm afraid that if I go to sleep, I'll wake up and I'm back with them. With Hersha and Welter looming over me while pinning me down while Virus and Trip...' Those thoughts are still fresh with him as if it happened a few minutes ago when it's been a full day. Even Theo told him this.

It's been a day. He's been away from those two monsters for a full day... That was a dream within itself or at least Aoba thought it was. He never thought he could escape from them. He thought he would die in captivity and he would have been fine with that.

As he ran along with those thoughts, Theo had to get his attention again.

“Aoba-san, do you think you can tell me what happened?” he asked Aoba who looked at him with hesitation in his light brown eyes. “I... You don't have to. I'm just curious because I noticed you didn't like me touching you.”

Theo was now fully aware that Aoba was kidnapped. It was obvious even without him needing to guess at all. He also has a hunch on what happened to the other male but he wasn't entirely sure. He assumed a kidnapper doesn't go that far if they just kidnap someone. The blond didn't want to think of what Aoba's kidnappers had done to him. Though he did assume it had to be horrible than he could imagine. Most likely something he could never imagine in his life at all. However, the male may not be aware of what actually happened. The extent to the horrible things Aoba has been subjected to. That includes the countless times Hersha and Welter contributed to the assault for the fun of it. Whether Trip force feeds him every sweet off the small table in the bedroom until he vomits. Or even Virus would have his hand wrapped around Aoba's throat. The grip of his hand becoming tighter and tighter while he pushes two adult toys into Aoba.

If Aoba hadn't been on his best behavior while they were gone, Virus and Trip would let their Allmates have their way with Aoba. They would make sure he is scared and in pain for a long while. Maybe a few hours. Then they finally ask him if he understands the wrong he had done. Aoba “misbehaving” only happened once in a while which is surprising. The male thought he didn't have any fight in him left. Especially because his body was trained to obey them of all people. He shouldn't have been able to deny them in the first place.

It didn't matter what Virus and Trip had done to him. It was never the same whenever the nightmare begins everyday. Even though it was a good thing that it usually ends after a while, there was the obvious fact it will all begin all over again the next day. He should be used to it but it wasn't possible with him. With them, it was always something new and as terrifying as the last thing they had done to him...

“....I'm sure you realize this but...” Aoba paused before he had spoke again. “I—I was...tortured by my captors for over a year... I rather not go into detail about it.”

Aoba had to breathe, needing to calm himself. He wasn't with Virus and Trip anymore so he had nothing to worry about. Or at least he thought. Who knows when they'll come back for him again? He has that to worry about always.

“I can understand why you didn't want me touching you,” Theo murmured. He tried not to look too shocked about what happened to Aoba but it still showed on his face. “Aoba-san, please know I never want to hurt you. Even if you weren't a nice person, I still wouldn't hurt you.”

“I can gather that... However, I still can't trust you on that right away.” Aoba murmured as Theo nodded, understanding why he said this.

_'He does understand. Even though I didn't tell him what actually happened. Well, it wasn't far from the truth. They did torture me...with their own bodies. What if my escaping is all a dream? I still think I may be trapped in that hell...'_ He thought to himself before glancing at the blond male who attempted to keep himself from touching Aoba out of the blue even if it was a friendly non-threatening gesture. It was a good thing because Aoba still felt disgusting. He didn't want Theo to catch his germs at all solely because he was too good of a person. And Aoba didn't want to taint him.

While he was in his thoughts again, Theo thought he should get Aoba's attention. He was worried the bleu haired male would have another panic attack.

“Aoba-san. I am aware you don't trust me but I can assure you that you're safe here. For as long as you wish to stay.” he told him before his tone of voice became cheerful. “I did have to do some convincing to my parents to let you stay but they allowed it.”

“I actually don't want to impose...” Aoba began before Theo had interrupted him, still very eager.

“Don't worry about it, Aoba-san. I asked for your help then brought you to my home. If anything, I'm imposing on you too much.” That may be true but Aoba was still aware this house was rather extravagant. Even though he has been in this room since he had regained consciousness. It seemed like he was taking advantage of Theo. Even though the blond doesn't mind. This conversation might go on for a while so the blue haired male decided to accept Theo's generosity and gave him a small smile.

“Well, I'm grateful for your help, Theo.” Aoba said with a warm smile. It was the first smile he could make in who knows how long. Somehow the younger male's positivity had rubbed off on him. Though the feelings of disgust for himself were still there and couldn't be willed away with that alone. He needed to shower. Maybe that would get rid of the germs and he would be able to deal with Theo touching him in a casual way. The male opened his mouth so he could ask Theo for something he needed at the moment.

“Theo... Is it alright if I can take a shower?” he asked, almost hesitantly since he is still a guest here after all. “I haven't showered in the last day...”

“Of course, Aoba-san.” Theo answered, nodding before he stood to his feet. Was the male going to leave the room? What if Virus and Trip come back for him while Theo is away from him and he's taking a shower? Aoba couldn't help but become anxious again but he attempted to not show it and got to his feet as well.

“Th-Thank you... I'll go into the bathroom now,” Aoba murmured as he looked towards the open door to the bathroom. The lights were on inside of it and he started walking towards it. He almost had the need to tell Theo to stay behind but he refrained from doing so. He already felt like he was overstaying his welcome and it's only been a day. Plus, he was also unconscious during that time.

“I have some things to take care of so just make yourself at home, okay?” he said to Aoba as he made his way out of the room. Theo peered back into the room just as Aoba was about to enter the bathroom. “Oh, Aoba-san, I will return so don't worry.”

With that, Theo left the room, closing the bedroom door behind him. Then Aoba went into the bathroom and closed the door. After that, Aoba made no hesitation to strip out of the large sweater he wore this entire time. He did expect Theo to change him into something more suitable but it was good he didn't. It would have caused him great worry if the other did make that move. It was still unacceptable for other people to touch him or even look at his naked body. Aoba hoped he hadn't offended Theo because of that because he figured that like everyone must be like, Theo was the type to be a bit affectionate with those he's around quite casually. If Aoba hadn't been sexually assaulted and tortured on a daily basis, or at all, he would be fine with anyone touching him casually. As long as they steer clear of his hair.

The blue haired male turned on the shower as he walked over to it, marveling at the spacious bathroom as he did so. It must have been the size of his living room at least. Or that's what Aoba decided to assume anyway. After collecting his thoughts, the male had got out a towel, setting it on the table near the shower so he could grab it quickly when he gets out.

_'This really is a rich person's house...'_ Aoba thought briefly as he went to turn on the shower water, making sure the temperature was right first. After that, Aoba stepped under the constant streaming water and drew the shower curtain closed. The water felt so nice just as he adjusted it to be and he decided to let himself relax as much as he could. He could feel the water pouring on his hair and it felt strange as it started feeling heavier with the weight of the liquid in it. Still, that didn't stop Aoba from attempting to wash it with the shampoo. Because his hair is really sensitive, he is very careful when he wants to avoid hurting himself this way. The way he washed his own hair felt very nice and he will be even happier once it's fully clean.

It didn't take long for Aoba to wash his hair because he didn't want to spend too long doing that. His nerves were already sensitive as it is. He closed his eyes as he rinsed out the shampoo when he saw the faces of Virus and Trip behind his closed eyelids. Of course he did attempt to shake them away and continued washing out the shampoo but those faces came back but with their voices this time. And they wouldn't go away no matter how much he willed them to.

_'You're responding very well today, Aoba-san. You must like it when Hersha and I are inside you at the same time.'_ He could hear Virus murmur in his ear. But Virus wasn't here with him in the shower. He knew that but he can't stop the voices from flowing into his mind. And they just kept flowing in with no chance of stopping. He felt disgusting...

_'Ao~ba. Can you feel me inside you?'_ he heard Trip murmur in his ear while he felt Welter lick his chest with his raw tongue. It felt uncomfortable and very painful. The male thought his skin would crumple and peel off thanks to the lion Allmate.

Aoba had grabbed the loofah provided and had lathered it up with soap. He began scrubbing his nether regions without holding back, small sobs escaped from his lips as he heard Trip's voice come into his mind whenever he and virus shared him. When it became a bit painful to scrub, Aoba almost didn't stop. However, he still felt disgusting all over. He then started scrubbing his arms, his legs, his chest... Just everywhere he was touched by Virus and Trip. It was disgusting. _He_ was disgusting. No amount of scrubbing could ever get rid of what they had left on him day after day. The water continued to cascade down on his body as he tried to clean himself off thoroughly.

It was no use.

_'So disgusting... I can't get myself clean...'_ he thought, feeling despair coming down on him. Aoba couldn't keep himself from sobbing as he attempted to wash his body over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay. I had internet troubles along with a virus scare when it turned out both were fixable. However, the lack of internet access lasted for two days. So I worked on this chapter in the meantime along with attending to things in my personal life. I had no idea how to end this chapter so it got really long~ Theo is so sweet to Aoba, isn't he. ^_^ I do hope this chapter was good for you all~~~


	3. Reprieve

Aoba had gotten out of the shower well after he had used all the hot water at the time. He was a little bit pruned up and raw because of all the scrubbing but he didn't care. The objective for him is to wash away the germs he had crawling all over him. However, he wasn't successful because he still felt dirty. It was like nothing he did could get rid of that disgusting feeling they had left behind and that was the worst feeling he had ever felt. Hopefully, Theo wouldn't try to touch him often. Even if it's a friendly gesture. He just...didn't want Theo to touch him. He didn't want anyone to touch him, honestly. It's better that way. So they won't get any germs from him.

Despite feeling this way, Aoba somewhat wanted Theo's company. It was normal after what he had been through but he found the blond male's presence rather calming. Though, Aoba personally didn't trust him yet. He still didn't know what Theo could do to him or if he was going to end up as his prisoner or even worse, a sex slave. It was a terrifying thought and it still is. If that does happen, Aoba feels like he will eventually die. Being someone's toy isn't a way to live. It isn't a way for him to live either. So the only other solution if his Scrap happens to fail like it did with Virus and Trip, is to take his own life. That was the only solution if he ends up in a similar situation worse than hell as before.

 _'I won't be able to handle it if I do end up like that. I can't...'_ He thought to himself as he wrapped his arms around his frame, leaning against the wall of the bathroom. His still oversensitive wet hair clung to his neck and shoulders. It felt weighted down slightly because of the water. Letting out a calming breath to ease his anxiety, Aoba grabbed another towel and used it to gently dry his hair in a way it won't hurt. He tried to dry it as much as he could before it started becoming fairly uncomfortable. With his hair now damp, Aoba dried himself off thoroughly then wrapped the towel around his waist so he wouldn't be seen naked if anyone happens to enter the room without knocking. Since this happens to be a rich person's house as he thought, Aoba figured no one would just barge in on him randomly. It would be extremely rude.

The male exited the bathroom a little hesitantly and saw that no one wasn't in the room. Not even Theo. It did make him a little anxious but he was also glad. He didn't want anyone staring at his naked body for a long while. That would be uncomfortable and he would feel like he is being judged by whoever would be staring at him. Aoba went over to the bed which had a set of clothing sitting on it for him. It may not fit him but it was better than what he had on when Theo found him yesterday. The shirt was a dark onyx color and the pants and underwear were dark blue. He reached out to take the shirt and was very surprised at how soft it felt. The shirt must have been made with some high quality fabric. For some reason in the mist of his anxiety, Aoba felt a little self conscious. Like he shouldn't wear such fine clothing. Like it would be beneath him to wear something this lovely even if the clothes were extremely casual looking.

However...

 _'I really don't want to walk around naked...'_ A small blush crossed his features as he let the towel drop to his feet. He set the shirt down on the bed for a moment to grab the pants. Amongst them was a pair of underwear. Good, something he can wear without anything of his scraping against the zipper of the pants. Quickly, he put on the boxers provided, liking how snug they fit on him. It was almost like they weren't there. He then pulled on the pants, surprised with how comfortable those felt on him before finally pulling on the nice shirt he touched moments ago. Now he felt more out of place than ever. It was likely Theo left these clothes for him even though they felt a little big on him. Still, Aoba was grateful for the clothes and he knew he had to pay Theo back somehow.

Oh right.

He promised he would help the male find his older brother. The question was, how was he going to go about doing that? Why did Theo ask him of all people to search for his brother, he wondered. It wasn't like he knew where this Wilhelm is or much less on where to find him. Aoba was just desperate to get home and that's what he intends to do. He does promise to help Theo however he can. It's just something he wishes to do and he would feel like a terrible person for going back on his promise. He'll help Theo. Later on, he'll get back to Midorijima and he hopes it's still in one piece after Toue possible gained control of the entire island. And hopefully, his grandmother and friends are fine and not under Toue's control.

The blue haired male straightened up the shirt he had on then sat down on the bed. Now that he thought about it, these clothes were similar to what he usually wore. Minus the Brain Nuts jacket he wore every day. He missed wearing it and it was kind of expensive... If he still had his job back at Heibon, he'll go back to work there and earn the money to buy that jacket again. That is if the store he bought it from still sells it.

 _'Hmm... I really liked that jacket... Oh well, at least I'm still here...'_ It was a little surprising the male thought this considering what he had went through. He didn't think he had such an attachment to such a materialistic item. Especially when that jacket wasn't given to him as a gift. It was just a shame it was stolen.

While he lingered on those thoughts, a knock on the door brought him back to reality and he had grew anxious again. Another knock after thirty quiet seconds made his heart jump as he cleared his throat so he could enunciate properly.

“Come in,” he said to whomever was on the other side of the door. He wasn't sure if the person heard him after a couple of seconds. Then a voice came from the other side. It was high voice belonging to a woman. Must be one of the maids in this mansion.

“Aoba-san?” she asked before entering the room with a cart that had a tray of food on it. The food was covered but it must still be warm. The maid wheeled the food into the room before stopping right in front of the bed then stood back. “Theo-sama asked us to bring you something to eat. It is lunchtime and he figured you must be hungry by now. I hope you're feeling okay to eat, sir.”

“Uh...” Aoba's eyes went to the tray that had the food on it along with a tasty looking drink. A light smell hit his nose despite the food being covered with a lid. The food smelled delicious. However, he was wary of actually consuming the food. What if it's laced with drugs?

“I assure you, Aoba-san, that the food doesn't have anything in it that will harm your body,” she assured him as she bowed. “Theo-sama said he'll stop by in an hour or so to see how you are doing. Please enjoy your food.”

It was then she had left. Aoba still stared at the food that seemed to be untouched before moving closer to it. He took the tray off the cart carefully then set it in his lap. He took the covering off the food and was hit with the delicious scent of the food immediately. It was absolutely mouthwatering. There was a well-cooked steak on it along with some food he couldn't identify and a cheesy omelet. The food he couldn't identify smelled delicious and it was some sort of noodle thing.

Curious, Aoba poked at it with his finger. It was squishy and he thought of what the Americans called ravioli. However, it didn't smell like tomatoes and various spices. The ravioli looking food smelled really delicious so he decided to try a bit of it. He used a knife to cut a small bite-sized piece off and put it into his mouth. Since it was still a little hot, it made the taste very potent. Tasting the food, he could have sworn he had tasted some spinach, bacon some eggs and a bit of beef. And all of that was cooked into the noodle thing he decided to try. Aoba thought it tasted wonderful and that he definitely didn't have something like this before.

 _'It has a unique taste... I like it.'_ he thought as he continued to eat whatever he's eating. He wished he had something close to his coil that could identify what he just ate. It tasted really wonderful to him which is why he felt a bit disappointed that he didn't have any of the delicious mystery food dish left on the plate. Still feeling hungry, Aoba turned on the stake and the omelet. He ate it slowly so he could savor the taste and because it felt like he hadn't ate anything decent in a long time. He hadn't really had the appetite to do so even after Virus and Trip let him do as he pleases fairly recently. They must have thought he wouldn't escape because they could control Aoba with fear.

The anxiety is starting to come back. Aoba had set the utensils down, leaving the unfinished stake and omelet where it was. He then tried breathing slowly as he could. He breathed in through his nose then exhaled through his mouth. It wasn't something he started doing recently. He had tried to calm himself down after each pending and ongoing panic attacks he had post assault. It worked for a little while before the fear started to claim him again.

 _'I need to stop thinking about them. I'm not there with them anymore...'_ he thought as he tried to stop himself from shaking. _'The nightmare I had suffered through for days on end is over.'_

Just as he managed to calm himself down, a knock on the door startled him and he immeidately turned his attention to it, worried on who needed his attention now. He was the guest here but he was still wary of who would come by to see him. Like before, Aoba cleared his throat so he could speak clearly to the person on the other side of the door.

“Come in,” he called out to them, masking the anxiety that was still there. The person slowly opened the door and peered their head into the room. It was Theo. He seemed a bit hesitant and worried about Aoba so he entered the room as cautiously as he could. “Theo...”

“Aoba-san, how are you feeling?” he asked as he glanced at the food that was almost done with. He chuckled lightly, seeming fairly amused and happy. “I guess you were hungry.”

“Yeah.” the blue haired male answered Theo with a small smile. “I was rather hungry and I tried one of the dishes I haven't seen before. It was delicious and kind of like a squishy noodle with stuffing...”

He wondered if his vague description would help Theo know what he was talking about since he didn't technically serve Aoba the food himself. His light brown eyes looked to the other male, almost as if he was asking him what the delicious dish was called because he hadn't seen or tasted anything remotely like that before.

“Oh, that dish is called Maultaschen. It's served as a main dish but I figured you must be rather hungry,” he answered, remembering how thin Aoba is at the moment. “It must have been a little confusing to see such an unfamiliar dish.”

“It was but I liked it. No need to worry.” Aoba reassured Theo as he smiled at him as warmly as he could. “I never had anything like that so it really was a bit of a surprise.”

“That's good.” Theo felt relieved that Aoba liked the food that was brought to him. Particularly the German dish he was served moments ago before the blond had arrived. “Though, I probably shouldn't have had the maids serve you foreign food since you're from Japan.”

“Theo, it's fine. I liked it,” Aoba reassured him again then he murmured to the other male. “Honestly, I wanted more of that than the other food I had started eating after I finished it off. It really was delicious so...thank you for the meal.”

“Don't mention it. Whenever you're hungry, just let one of the maids know so they can tell the cooks. They'll make it to your liking.”

As much as Aoba really didn't want to impose, he knew he couldn't refuse Theo when he says he's free to ask for whatever food dish he wanted. He bit back the words of protest threatening to come out and replied with a simple thank you to the blond for this offer.

“Thanks. I'll remember that. And I'll try whatever dish from here as well.” he murmured.

“Fair warning, I'd stay away from the sauerkraut though...” It seemed that it was one of the dishes Theo disliked. Surprisingly, Aoba knew what it was and he could understand why Theo disliked it. Sauerkraut is rather smelly so it was understandable for the blond to dislike that type of food. It may taste good but one would have to be able to handle such a pungent smell in order to eat it at all. Aoba could sympathize with the male since he disliked any smelly foods as well. They usually kill the appetite anyway or at least that's what he honestly thinks.

“Oh, I won't go near that. You don't have to tell me twice.” It was then they both laughed. For that moment, Aoba felt like the worry he had just flowed out of him. Especially now that he had let out a few laughs. And it was all because of Theo. He still wasn't okay. He was far from that actually but Theo was really kind to him even when he didn't have to be. Now the blue haired male felt like he could trust him a little bit. Just a little. For obvious reasons, Aoba can't bring himself to trust himself around anyone else. It's nothing personal against them but he wishes to avoid getting into _that_ type of situation again. After having a good laugh, he glanced at the food he wanted to finish but he didn't seem to have the appetite to finish it now. He felt bad but he was still thankful that Theo decided to feed him.

“Thank you,” he said to the blond. “The food really was delicious.”

“You're welcome. I guess you were too full to finish it.” Theo assumed then went onto explaining himself more so he wouldn't offend Aoba by accident. “N-Not that it's wrong but I figure you must have been extremely hungry. It's why I had the cooks make you so much food.”

“Actually, I was hungry,” Aoba murmured, feeling ashamed he had lost his appetite because of the memories of his abusers. He had then let out a small sigh. “Like really hungry for the first time in a long time. I just lost my appetite. I'm really sorry.”

“Was it because of what happened to you before?” Aoba nodded. “I know it's too much to ask or basically command but try not to think about them too much. They aren't here anymore and they definitely won't be able to get to you, Aoba-san. I can assure you that.”

_'I know but I still have my reasons to worry. They could come back and take me away. Then everything will be even worse than before. And I'll never see anyone I know ever again...'_

“I can't let myself go back there like before. Even though I had no idea what they would do when they just drugged and took me to a place I had no knowledge of.” The male hadn't meant to mention he was actually drugged when he was taken from Japan. However, he figured Theo must knew anyway because Aoba wouldn't wind up in a foreign country without knowing. One would be aware of that unless they were blindfolded or something of the sort. Well, that is kind of what happened in a sense. Still, Aoba doesn't intend to tell Theo the whole story. It would scar someone's mind if they had a vivid imagination. And he honestly wouldn't want to push that onto him of all people despite having to have met him a day ago.

The blue haired male glanced at the unfinished food for a moment as he tried to put those two out of his mind so he could finish the rest of the food off. He then reached for the fork as Theo stopped him, making his brown eyes glance over at the blond in mild confusion and slight anxiety. Though, it wasn't as bad as before.

“You don't have to finish the food if you don't want to.” Theo said, wanting Aoba to know he isn't obligated to clear his plate.

“I want to. Really. I got my appetite back.” he said, smiling at Theo reassuringly as he waited for the male to release his hand. Once he did, Aoba grabbed the fork and cut off a small piece of the omelet then placed it into his mouth. It was still warm so it tasted nice. He did notice the quality of ingredients tasting very expensive and he wanted to say something about it.

 _'I am so aware he lives in a rich home that I can't bring myself to stop feeling guilty for things like this. It's like I'm taking advantage of him.'_ He thought to himself as he tried to keep himself from frowning. So Aoba did the next best thing which happened to be complimenting the omelet again.

“This omelet is wonderful. I know it's brought to me but I still feel like I should thank you.” he murmured. “The steak is wonderful as well. I never tasted one cooked so well before.”

“You're welcome, Aoba-san. Glad the cooking sufficed.”

That was all that was said for the moment and Aoba continued to eat his food in silence. He wanted to finish the food before he ended up talking with Theo again. If he continued talking, he would end up finishing his food about thirty minutes later. He didn't want to seem indecent in front of the blond male by talking with food in his mouth. After several minutes of eating quietly with a little bit insecurity towards his own status, Aoba finished off the food then thanked Theo again with a smile. It seemed like he was doing that a bit often than he thought he should.

“Thank you. I'm really grateful for all of this. And a new change of clothes also.” he said, feeling full and satisfied now.

“I wasn't exactly sure what your size was when I decided to leave my clothes here for you to wear.” Theo responded, feeling embarrassed. “How do they fit?”

“Very comfortable.” he answered then let out a chuckle. “If I wanted to, I would do stretches in them.”

“I wouldn't have minded if you did that.” Theo laughed too. He knew Aoba wasn't joking. Though he was glad that the male felt good in his clothes. Pretty soon, he would probably have to take Aoba shopping to get some more suitable clothes for his own. It wasn't because Theo wanted to have his clothes back but because he knew that Aoba didn't want to wear someone's clothes forever. Unless that person wanted him to wear their clothes.

“Well, I'll take you shopping for some outfits later if you're up to it.” he offered, watching Aoba's expression grew a bit anxious again. It seemed like he didn't want to go out into public again. Not just yet anyway. “Or not.”

“No, it's fine. You will stay close to me, right?” Aoba hoped the blond would understand that he wouldn't want to be alone at the moment. The time in the shower was too much already. Yet he wouldn't want anyone in the bathroom with him either. He knew Theo had things to attend to and he couldn't be with him all the time but that doesn't make it any better when he's left alone.

“I promise that I will. I'll hold your hand, I-if you need me to.” he said casually as a small blush crossed Aoba's face. That was a little too straightforward. Theo hoped Aoba wouldn't think he's weird or something for just saying that.

“That won't be necessary.” Aoba murmured, looking away. It was still not okay for anyone to touch him suddenly so the hand holding was out of the question for now. It was unclear of when Aoba will ever be okay with physical contact. However, he hopes to be okay with it someday instead of not at all. That would be wonderful to not be afraid of anyone touching him. Anyone who wasn't _**them**_. It really would be nice.

“I'm sorry...! That was a bit to forward, Aoba-san... Forgive me.” Theo exclaimed as Aoba watched him. He then held up his hand and waved it at him.

“It's alright. I've had people be like that with me. It's been a while since that happened. Don't worry about it too much, Theo.” he stated in a gentle manner, showing he wasn't irritated or embarrassed at Theo at all. The blush on his face had disappeared before he finally made eye contact with the other male. “So, are you going to be free later for us to go shopping? I thought you might be gone for a while when we parted the first time.”

“I had to talk with my parents... It was awkward and they weren't too happy about me bringing a random guy home. Well, my father wasn't.” he explained, frowning a little. “My mother didn't mind as long as you were alright. I got scolded either way but once I explained that you would help find my brother, they seemed to calm down...”

Aoba began to look rather downcast as he felt like he wasn't welcome in this place anymore. As much as he didn't want to play this card, he may end up having to explain himself to why he needs to stay in this place. Other than the reason of promising to lend his assistance to finding Theo's brother. Of course he wishes to help but not even Aoba knew how or where to even track someone. Where would he even start? There were so many questions he had no answer to...

“Are you sure I can help?” he asked, now sounding more hesitant and nervous.

“Um...” Theo looked away, trying to find the right words to answer with without offending Aoba. “Well, it's mostly a gut feeling. I don't know if you can help or if we'll ever find Wilhelm.”

“I know...”

“But, I know we'll see him again. I just...feel like we should keep looking. If I know my brother, I know he's still out there, alive and well. And... I hope he's happy too.”

Listening to Theo made Aoba miss his friends and family back home. Along with the feeling of relief, he felt homesick. Very homesick. He hoped that everyone he loves is alright too. And maybe they are worried about him as well-being instead of thinking he's most likely dead. That he wouldn't mind if he actually got to go home. What would really break his heart is finding out everyone he knows could be under Toue's control. There would be no way he could bring them back from that. Even if he attempted to use his power, that wouldn't help. The purpose of Aoba's power was destruction. It wasn't there to save anyone. He knew that and that made the possibility of not being able to save anyone very obvious to him. The fact this may have happened is possible and the thought wouldn't leave Aoba's head completely. He let out a shaky sigh before he spoke to Theo again.

“I'm sure he's fine. And when you do find him, he'll be very happy to see your face...” he said, his voice cracking slightly as his eyes filled with tears. “You'll find him. I'm sure of it.”

“I hope I do...” Theo then looked over at Aoba and he soon became worried about the male again.

When Aoba noticed Theo watching him anxiously, he had to quickly reassure him that he was okay. He hadn't intended to cry but just thinking about his home and everyone he loves hurts. It's because of the distance unwillingly put between him and them is what's hitting him rather hard.

“I'm okay. I'm just feeling a little homesick.” he reassured Theo, sounding almost quiet. Of course he wants to get home but he has to help Theo first. He promised. However, Aoba was curious if Theo will still keep his word after he gets what he wants. After all, Aoba still can't trust the male completely.

“Aoba-san, if you want, I can take you back to Japan first thing tomorrow or the day after.” He offered, lightly touching Aoba's hand. “I knew it was selfish to ask for your help in finding my older brother. I'm sorry... It was wrong to think of myself first and not of your well-being. Of course you have family to get back to as well. I'll take you back home.”

Aoba shook his head. The headache was dulled but it throbbed with that simple action. He tried to ignore it as he spoke to Theo.

“No, I promised to help you find your brother. And that's what I intend to do.”

“Aoba-san...”

“I can't go home if your brother isn't reunited with you and your family. It isn't fair.” Aoba murmured, looking down at the floor now. “So I'll help you find him. It'll be great to see him happy he's with you and your family again.”

“T-Thank you, Aoba-san...” Theo suddenly hugged Aoba who went rigid in his arms but didn't push him away. “Thank you so much...”

Being hugged like this was really strange and uncomfortable but Aoba didn't move. He didn't want to worry Theo again with his anxiety to being touched by others. The blond did touch him out of the blue but it wasn't harmful to him. He could see that a little. He felt relieved when he was released from Theo's hold because he felt his hair being tugged on slightly. After smoothing it out and cradling it, Aoba let it set into place over his shoulders then looked over at the other male.

“You know, I think I'll take you up on your offer to go shopping now.” Aoba murmured. “You'll stay with me, right? I don't think I can be alone in public just yet...”

“Of course.” Theo promised then stood to his feet. Aoba did the same as well. Something did occur to him. He didn't have shoes. He is wearing socks but he doesn't have any footwear. It was going to be a strange day out in a foreign country. What was he going to do?

“Aoba-san, we have slippers by the door. I guess when we get to the shoe store, I can buy you some shoes to wear.” It's clear Theo had noticed Aoba's hesitance regarding his feet. So he decided to assure him it's alright. “Don't worry, I have more than enough money on me to get an entire wardrobe of clothes for you.”

“Alright. I guess if that's the case, we can shop until I have every outfit I need.” he murmured, feeling a little bashful as he wiped away his tears. Aoba then followed Theo out of the room closely like a lost puppy. He ignored the stares he received from the other servants, thinking it was rude for them to just because he's a foreigner. He couldn't understand a word they were saying because they spoke German. As he walked with Theo, he did his best to ignore the stares and whispers in another language, thinking he was grateful to the person who helped him so much in just a span of a day.

 _'I really intend to help him. Theo didn't have to help me but he did... I want to repay him by helping him find his brother.'_ he thought to himself, trying not to cling to Theo too soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:** Hey everyone~ This was kind of a slow chapter but I wanted to put in a casual conversation between Theo and Aoba. It became rather light and fun for a moment which was nice writing. uvu Anyway, I had to search up some German dishes because why not and Aoba is in Germany after all. Some of the dishes were quite delicious looking. My only worry was that I might not be able to describe it the way I imagine it would taste like. Maultaschen looked fairly delicious when I picked that one so I tried to make it sound like it is. o3o
> 
> Thanks to every kudos and positive comments I've received~! They really did push me to finish this. I do hope this chapter was good as well! Have a wonderful Valentine's Day ~~weekend~~ with your friends, family, and significant others~~ ♥


	4. Anxiety

_'I'm getting really pissed off by people staring at me...'_ Aoba thought to himself as he walked around in one of the stores with Theo, soon heading to the Men's section. It was so strange being out in public in such a long time and already, Aoba was a bit anxious as well as annoyed. As much as he tried his hardest to ignore the people staring at him, he had a tough time trying to. He felt like he was some sort of strange creature put on display at one of those circus shows he had seen on tv. It really was getting annoying and he wished they would just mind their own business. The blue haired male was so focused on everyone's eyes boring into him that he barely heard Theo's question. When Theo called out to him again a little louder despite his voice sounding really gentle, Aoba snapped out of it and turned his attention to him.

“Ah...what was that?” he asked, chuckling slightly out of embarrassment. The people still stared at the blue haired male but he tried to focus on Theo instead. At least Aoba knew Theo wasn't one to judge him for being a foreigner. After all, he is the only German he came across who could speak the same language as him. So he's very thankful for that even now.

“I was asking what size you are?” Theo repeated, waiting for Aoba's answer.

Honestly, Aoba had no idea what size clothes he wore right now. Even Theo's clothes were struggling to stay on his body because he is already so thin. During the last eighteen months, he had lost so much weight he actually looked a bit unhealthy. He was pallid, almost emaciated looking. His hair was thinning in some places and still looked rather disheveled despite washing it not too long ago. More like about two hours since then. Still, it must have looked unhealthy to whichever person's sight range he's in. Unfortunately, he couldn't avoid them but Aoba hoped they would look away. It was becoming uncomfortable and he started feeling self conscious about his appearance. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel like eating. And he wasn't being starved intentionally. Well, to an extent.

Virus and Trip didn't starve him. Or at least they didn't after he stopped resisting them after the first six months. Until earlier today, he hadn't had much of an appetite. He would eat or consume water maybe once a day on his own accord. Anytime he tried to eat more he always felt nauseous. Maybe it was because of the times Trip tried to force feed the food to him. Particularly the cake. That was enough to keep him from eating anything for a good while until Virus had to coax Aoba to eat again. Not that the bespectacled man cared for Aoba's well-being but because he didn't want to deal with Aoba dying on him and Trip. To both of the blonds, that would be very much of a hassle and an inconvenience for them. Aoba was just a toy they could play with until they got bored of him. Of course, Aoba was fortunate to actually escape from their clutches.

Now Aoba is out shopping with someone who may be an acquaintance to him now. Someone who can help him get back to Japan and with his loved ones again. It's still all very surreal to him that he had assumed it is all a dream. It took a moment for Aoba to remember Theo's question to him and again, he felt embarrassed to even answer. Though he couldn't let the other not know his clothing size even if he wasn't sure what it might be at the moment. Though it didn't stop Aoba from telling Theo the truth about his actual clothes size.

“I'm a medium...” Aoba murmured, sounding very hesitant as he looked through some of the clothes just to avoid eye contact with Theo. “I...Well, at least I was. I lost a lot of weight. I don't know what I can fit into now, honestly.”

Theo noticed this which was why he had Aoba eat all of that food earlier. Or at least as much as he could then. The blond thought that Aoba looked so thin that he thought he would keel over if he didn't have enough food in his system. It was a wonder to him that Aoba was standing in front of him right now without any problems. A thought did come to his mind that the blue haired male may have had some form of an eating disorder but he didn't want to assume something like that without being absolutely sure about it first. Right now, it seemed a bit awkward for Theo to even ask Aoba about something like this after he had gotten him to reveal what happened to him before he had found him yesterday. For now, he needed to help Aoba however he could and possibly get him back to health. It would make him feel terrible if he just let Aoba continue to deteriorate further until he wastes away. Theo didn't want that. As he looked through the clothes, he possibly thought that Aoba may gain enough weight to the point he'll fit into them as he did with his other clothes.

The blond felt bad for Aoba because he was so thin. So he flashed him a warm smile before finding something that he figured was around the male's usual style. It was a dark shade of blue, long sleeved and V-neck. If Aoba were to put it on, it may fit to his form. Theo held it up to him after checking the tags for the measurements.

“What do you think of this shirt?” he asked the other male, not really expecting a positive answer in particular from him. He basically wanted an opinion. If it's a good one, then Theo will get a few pairs of it, in different colors if Aoba requests for it.

Aoba glanced down at the shirt, knowing it's what he would wear on a whim and he reached out to touch it. He had noticed how soft it was to the touch and it felt fairly expensive to him. Now he felt like he shouldn't impose on new clothing from Theo even more than he had already. Were clothes in Germany expensive or something or was it all in his imagination? It probably was in his imagination but in reality, Aoba hasn't really worn anything close to an actual outfit in those eighteen months. If he were, it was on extremely rare occasions. Though Theo was giving him a chance to be a normal person again so he didn't have anything negative to say about the shirt.

“It's very nice. I actually had something like it before...” he answered casually, unsure if he'll be able to fit that shirt properly. It worried him since it was the type of clothing that would fit to his form when he isn't at his old weight at the moment. He weighed much less now and it showed. The male bit his lip as he then looked away, feeling ashamed and saddened because he was in such bad shape physically.

“Aoba-san?” Theo murmured, his voice full of concern. He was still holding onto the shirt as he noticed Aoba releasing his grip on it.

“It's just some silly thoughts. Nothing to get worried over.” he answered Theo softly, smiling at the other male ruefully. “So is it possible to get three of those shirts in that color, black and maybe gray?”

“Not at all, Aoba-san. We're shopping for you today so ask for how much you want.” The blond was clearly eager about this and there was no way Aoba could ruin that.

“Well if that's the case, then lets shop for a little bit.” Aoba let out a small chuckle as he held out his hands towards Theo, basically telling him to hand over the shirts or any clothing he could easily hold, over to him. The blond had took two more pairs of the said shirt in the colors Aoba desired and handed it over to him. He wanted to participate in shopping since the clothes are for him instead of allowing the blond to pick out all of his clothing. The two of them walked around the entire male's section, picking out a few pairs of pants and shirts suitable for each season.

Honestly, Aoba didn't know how long he would be able to stay under Theo's roof but he decided to not question that. He didn't want to think about that even as he and Theo started picking out something formal to wear. Aoba wanted to question why he's picking up formal clothing for him but bit back his question. Though he didn't have anything against the clothing themselves since they were nice looking despite being expensive.

_'I wonder if I have to talk with his parents eventually... I am a guest after all. Hopefully they know Japanese too.'_ He also thought of the possibility of Theo's parents dismissing him because he's from another country. Not to mention that he doesn't have any money or is of high status. That was one of his major worries and he didn't know how to shake that off. Aoba is so painfully aware he is a common foreigner that he thought he should go back to Japan even sooner than before. It wasn't something he intends to do anytime soon. However, he may be forced to go back eventually. Especially with the fact he doesn't know any German.

Thinking about this wasn't doing his current state of mind any good and he started becoming more anxious than before. He attempted to calm himself down with the thought of Theo being worried about him came into his mind. He didn't want the other to worry about him any more than he has to since he is an acquaintance to him and vice versa. After a minute of breathing slowly to himself, Aoba eventually calmed himself just as Theo turned around to face him. The blond had a purple T-shirt and black denim jeans in his hands then held them up for Aoba to see. It looked good and Aoba could see himself wearing it when Theo opened his mouth to ask if it's alright with him.

“Do you think you could wear this outfit, Aoba-san?” he asked as the next thing that came out his mouth was a compliment. “I don't know what colors to pick out but I thought this would go well with your beautiful hair.”

_'Beautiful... My hair...?'_ It took Aoba a moment to realize that Theo just complimented his hair. It was strange to hear that after such a long time and a little flattering. He just hoped Theo wouldn't try to touch it. Well, maybe not without his permission. The blue haired male wasn't sure if he would be okay with that alone even if someone had his permission to touch his hair. Theo's compliment hit him after a few moments and he ended up blushing faintly. This was a little embarrassing now.

Aoba took a small breath before speaking, refusing to make eye contact with Theo as he said, “I... I think it's fine. I like the outfit.” he murmured. “Thank you, Theo. For the clothes and the compliment.”

It really seemed like it was the truth to Aoba and it eased whatever anxiety he's feeling to manageable levels to the point he could smile at the blond male. Receiving a compliment from someone who isn't out to hurt him like Virus and Trip had was wonderful. Honestly, that filled his chest with a little warmth as he thought on it more while the two of them shopped and browsed for clothes to wear. After walking around the store once, Aoba's arms felt a bit tired after receiving enough clothes that he could wear for that first month alone. Just how many pairs of clothes was Theo intending to buy for him? He knew the blond came from a very prestigious background meaning he was loaded with money. However, Aoba felt really weird for receiving so much clothes in one shopping spree. At some point, Aoba wondered if Theo was going to buy the entire store.

However, much to his relief, Theo figured they should go to the cashier and pay for the clothing. Including the underwear Theo picked up for Aoba who had blushed again because now the male knew what color briefs and boxer briefs he'll be wearing under all of his clothes. The blush proceeded to get darker as the person working the cash register looked in Aoba's general direction as they bagged the underwear. Despite what he's been through, Aoba was surprised he could still feel embarrassed about stuff like this. He felt like he shouldn't because his dignity has been obliterated. Or at least he thought. Emotions he thought were completely gone from the numerous times Virus and Trip tried to break him and succeeded, were still there. And he didn't know why he still felt anything at all at this point. Aoba thought it would be easier if he was broken by them and become a living doll for them to use as they please.

But some part of him still held onto the shred of emotion he had in hopes of maybe he might be tossed aside when they found no use for him anymore. And he could finally escape. Who knew that time would be over twenty-three hours ago...

Aoba continued to revel in his thoughts even while he walked out to the car with Theo whose driver had helped put the bags into the trunk of the car. Of course, Aoba tried to open the door before the man politely told him to stop in German. He didn't understand what he was saying but for some reason, the man's gestures signaled to Aoba that he shouldn't open the door himself. Was he being treated the same as Theo? Like someone who is rich? It was hard to say. The driver had finished putting all the bags of clothes into the trunk of the car and went to open the door for both Theo and Aoba who had got in the car carefully. Theo thanked the driver who responded back before the door was closed and the man got in the driver's seat. It was only moments before the car's engine turned on and the man had started driving.

_'I wonder if we're going back to his place now...'_ he thought as Theo lightly tapped his forearm to get his attention. The blue haired male turned to look at Theo in his eyes, curious to what he wanted to ask him. Obviously it worried him that Theo may ask him again about what happened before their first meeting. He may have told him bits and pieces but he didn't tell him everything for the sake of the other male's sanity and his own.

“Aoba-san... I wanted to know what Japan is like. I have never been there before but I've seen pictures. Is it really as beautiful as every one of those pictures had captured?” he asked, genuinely curious about the country. “Oh, and which part of Japan are you from, if I may ask...?”

Knowing that Theo didn't press for more answers on his captors or what happened to him, it made Aoba sigh in relief and he smiled a little bit. Theo didn't ask him what he thought he would and he's very glad about that. He let his anxiety and worry about those questions then tried to think of how to answer the other male's questions. Especially since he had a few of his own to ask Theo as well while the car headed to another destination.

“I am from an island called Midorijima. It's a small island but very nice to live on. At least I think so. Though I never stayed in a nice place like your home before. Well, kind of...” Aoba answered, stopping himself before he started talking about his friends and grandmother. “As for the rest of Japan, I never been outside Midorijima to visit but if it's anything like I imagined, I'm sure it is beautiful. I've always wanted to visit Osaka and Tokyo at some point in my life. It's kind of been a bit of a lifelong dream of mine...” he murmured that last part as he glanced out the window. The scenery of the unfamiliar city passed by them in a blur.

_'I never even been to the beach in my life since it's been closed off on the island...'_

“How about we go there?” Theo asked him, causing Aoba to look at him questionably. “It's a bit sudden but I've always wanted to go to Japan and you wanted to visit a different part of Japan. So it kind of comes full circle, you know?”

“Y-Yeah...” Aoba murmured, biting his lip as he thought that it was very much possible to get back to Japan with Theo's help. If he were to return to Midorijima, he wondered if he'll be able to face everyone? Would he be able to look them in the face after all that has happened to him? He doesn't know if Koujaku, Mizuki, his grandmother....or anyone would ever be okay with what happened. He was aware of the imminent possibility of them either looking at him differently or shunning him because he was assaulted by two people he trusted. Especially when those two people were part of a yakuza gang somewhat. Aoba isn't sure if he'll be able to face his loved ones after what happened. He thought he did a stupid thing in trusting Virus and Trip even when he knew what they were involved in. Well, he didn't know they were apart of a bigger scheme in regards to Morphine and Toue himself but...

_'Will they judge me for being so careless? I have a feeling they might...'_ He thought, clenching his fists tightly, his nails dug into his skin to the point they created welts in it. _'I was so stupid to trust them... Virus and Trip, they... I trusted them and they went and—'_ Aoba still felt hurt because his very trust was betrayed and he was subjected to being used sexually by the two people he knew since his Rhyme playing days. He still feared them even when he had finally escaped their clutches.

The blue haired male tried to calm his thoughts regarding his former captors, trying to tell himself that they won't come for him again. It wasn't working as he heard Theo's voice getting further away as the horrible memories resurfaced again. They were more vivid than usual and Aoba couldn't stop the choked up sound that slipped from his lips. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to keep himself from falling apart again despite his breathing coming out in short, quick gasps.

Theo's voice didn't even reach him this time. All that existed in his vision was Virus and Trip and their Allmates. Their emotionless voices echoed in his mind as if they were right there with him. The coolness of Hersha's body slithering against his skin, binding his frail body down to the bed while Virus did unspeakable things to him along with Hersha's tail penetrating him simultaneously. And not to mention the copious amount of times Welter could do the same with just one of his paws because Aoba was so weak from not moving and eating. Whenever Welter licked his bare skin, it felt like sandpaper being dragged on it tantalizingly slow. Each time with them Aoba had thought he had rid himself of all human emotions but each time he was proved wrong. He felt an overwhelming amount of terror. It became more potent over time and he eventually let them do as they pleased with him. Every vile thing... Aoba felt pleasure from it... And they made him find that depravity something he desired. It was wrong and he hated it even though his body wanted it so much.

So disgusting...

Aoba felt like he was going to vomit from the thought of it.

The blue haired male held his hand over his mouth, groaning slightly as he attempted to will the nausea away. Theo's concerned voice still haven't reached him even as he told the driver to stop the car immediately. The nausea had gotten so strong, he couldn't make it dissipate with just sheer will. Aoba had to quickly unbuckle himself and opened the door so he could empty the contents of his stomach onto the street. He felt a pair of hands gently touch his hair, pulling it back and away from his face but he couldn't do anything about it for now as he continued to throw up everything he ate. Everything came out so violently that he couldn't breathe and it felt like his chest was on fire.

Theo grimaced slightly at the sight of Aoba vomiting but he didn't look away as he rubbed the other male's back soothingly while holding his hair back. He was obviously concerned for Aoba and he felt anxious for him as he tried to keep his own trembling at bay. He tentatively gnawed at his lip as he hoped for Aoba to be okay. The next couple of minutes felt rather long for the both of them when Aoba finally finished throwing up. His shoulders shook as he let out short gasps again. Aoba still felt the anxiety wash over him yet again and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Aoba-san, are you okay? Can you speak?” Theo asked, wondering if his voice could reach him this time It really scared him to see someone like this and he didn't know what to do. He tried calling out to Aoba again more calmly so the other male won't feel terrified as he helped him sit upright slowly. “Aoba-san...”

With shaky hands, Aoba closed the door and kept his eyes on the floor. The driver received an okay to drive again as Theo pleaded for him to take them back home. Theo's questions hadn't reached him until the third time he was asked them and Aoba ended up glancing at the other with anxious brown eyes. Again, he shifted away from Theo's touch when he realized the male still had some of his long hair in his hand. Thankfully, the grip on it wasn't tight so the blue strands fell from the blond's hand. He had tears in his eyes from the moment he felt the first symptoms of his anxiety attack.

“I...I don't...” Aoba began, sounding quiet and still quite terrified. It felt like the world was closing in on him and he had no idea what to do. The tears in his eyes that were already welling up had spilled over as he thought of going back to Japan. He could do it and it was possible with Theo's help. But....he can't go back there. He couldn't. Not when he knew that he'll have to face the disappointed looks on the faces on his loved ones. He just couldn't.

“...I can't go back...” Aoba murmured, as Theo looked at him with an expression mixed with confusion and worry. “I-I can't go back to Japan... Everyone will see me and then they'll find out what happened and....” A choked sob escaped his lips before he took in a sharp breath, his throat still burned from when he vomited moments earlier.

_'If he takes me back there, nothing will happen other than what I expect to happen...'_ Aoba knew he wasn't ready to face everyone he loved just yet. Not when he was so foolish and had caused great worry. It would be better if they continued assuming he was dead for now. At least that's what he thought.

Theo placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, being mindful of his hair as he tried speaking to him in a calm manner. “Aoba-san, you don't have to go back tomorrow or the next day. I mean you can go back to Japan when you're ready. Not when I say we should go. Okay?”

Hearing the blond male say that, Aoba wasn't entirely sure if it was the truth until he looked up at the male's face again. There wasn't a shred of a lying face despite the fact that Theo could lie to him anyway for the purpose of finding his brother. It was possible and Aoba knew that he shouldn't trust him too much. However, the younger male went out of his way to buy Aoba several different outfits to wear everyday and even some formal wear. No stranger would do that for someone they just met. Theo was already the first trustworthy person to come within a few feet of him in the last eighteen months. And Aoba is in a foreign country so he has no choice but to rely on Theo's help to get around. With the constant reassuring thought that Theo won't abandon him, Aoba could calm down to the point his anxiety wasn't overwhelming him.

Hesitantly, Aoba nodded as he was handed a pure white handkerchief. It had the initials of Theo's name engraved onto the expensive fabric. The blue haired male didn't want to use it to wipe his tears but then again, it would be rather rude to turn down the offer of using it. Aoba lifted the handkerchief to his face and carefully wiped his tears away with it. Once he was done, Aoba handed the piece of fabric back to Theo before murmuring a quiet thank you. The blond smiled at him as he put the handkerchief in his pocket then handed a bottled water to Aoba. He was sure the male wanted to wash away the gross taste in his mouth at the moment.

“Thank you.” Aoba took the bottled water from the male gently and twisted open the cap. He then took a drink of the water. The water tasted way different from what he had. It had to be expensive... Of course he knew it was because it tasted so pure as if it was actual holy water. Still, it tasted very nice and it wasn't too cold either so it was easy on his stomach. He drank enough water to the point his mouth didn't taste funny anymore. He had set the bottle in a cup holder and rested his hands in his lap.

“Are you okay? I can give you something to relax when we get back home.” Theo asked, still feeling really concerned for Aoba as he lightly touched his shoulder.

“I think... I don't know. I....I should probably rest...” he answered, now feeling the fatigue set in along with his lingering anxiousness.

“That's fine. Your well-being is important to me, Aoba-san. I know we just met but it would be wrong of me to not be nice to a stranger.” Well, Aoba wasn't really a stranger to him since they did exchange names and spent a bit of time together.

“Thank you...”

_'He's definitely different from them... That makes me feel a little better...'_

It really did. Honestly, if Theo could hurt him, he would have done just that by now. The said blond using him was the least of his problems and he really preferred that after what he had been subjected to before meeting him. And Aoba was thankful for that. Now he needed to somehow find the will to recover from what happened so he can move forward. Then one day, he can go back to Japan and face his friends and family again. That is if they're really alright. There would be one other problem to tend to if he actually does get to Japan. That problem would be Toue and if he actually took control of everyone on the island with his twin brother's power of Scrap. It was a shame they didn't get to meet. Aoba could remember both Virus and Trip mentioning to him that Sei wasn't alright when illuminating machines that were supposed to emulate Sei's power was already finished. Every one of his friends and family in the Old Residential District was able to avoid the sound version of the Scrap power by plugging their ears but what about their eyes? Were they able to avoid having their minds broken by Sei's Scrap? He didn't know. Aoba may be avoiding Japan at the moment but he still has everyone in his mind, hoping they're alright and maybe they got out of Midorijima before everything went down. It was a long shot but that's all Aoba hoped.

The scenery outside the car passed by in a blur as it did before when Aoba glanced out the tinted window in a bit of a daze. His mind was still stuck on his loved ones and felt saddened because he was so far away. He really couldn't blame them if they assumed he is already long gone or even dead. Heaven forbid, if anyone he cared about went missing and he couldn't find them after a full eighteen months... It really would be best to assume the person is dead and will probably never be found. The thought of being dead to everyone even when he's not made him more depressed. Aoba didn't feel like crying anymore. He didn't feel like doing anything. If he had the ability to turn off his emotions, he would take that power over his Scrap any day without hesitation.

_'My head still hurts...'_ he thought, feeling the moderate pain of the headache creep it's way back to him. Surprisingly, it was easy to deal with but he still wished to have just one day without feeling close to mind-numbing pain in his head. Then that voice... That voice he always heard whenever he used Scrap... It was a little strange he hadn't heard from it lately. Maybe he was gone for good? That would be a wonderful thing since he was tormented by that voice for a long time. _**He**_ wanted Aoba to destroy and do nothing but destroy... Aoba didn't want that. He didn't want to break any more minds like he did with Mizuki. If he goes back to Japan soon, he is afraid to find out if he had really did any permanent damage to the mind of one of his closest friends. If he didn't, Aoba would still apologize to Mizuki for that and everything.

With the pain of his headache increasing, Aoba closed his eyes and attempted to will it away. He didn't have his pills anymore and he wasn't sure if any alternative painkillers would actually be just as potent. The blue haired male breathed slowly through his nose and mouth to calm himself and the headache as the ride home went smoothly. Theo kept an eye on Aoba the whole time, wondering if he needed to do anything else to help.

Several quiet minutes passed and the car had finally came to a complete stop. Aoba opened his eyes then glanced out the window. It seems like they're home now and the driver went to open the door for him and Theo who helped Aoba out of the car. Since he had drank out of the water bottle, Aoba took that with him just in case and the two males went into the mansion sized home together. The maids took the bags out of the trunk of the car and followed the two males to the guest room where Aoba is staying in. Theo had his hand on Aoba's back as he walked with him to the bedroom, asking if the other was really alright. Aoba reassured him that he just needed to rest and that's the only thing he wished to do. The headache is still there, throbbing quite painfully now.

When they finally got there, Aoba kicked off the slippers then crawled into bed, burying his face into the pillow and let out a muffled sigh of exhaustion. He didn't want to take off his clothes right now nor did he care he was actually in them either. After lingering in that position for a moment, Aoba turned his head to the side to look at Theo who is still there and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I'm sorry about earlier. I do want to go back to Japan but I'm not exactly ready...” He murmured as his voice cracked a little, now feeling guilty for ruining a nice day out shopping. “My friends...my grandmother... I am worried what they will think when they find out what happened to me while I was missing.”

“That's why you panicked earlier...” Theo said, sounding like he was asking a question.

“Yeah.” While they talked a little, the maids brought the bags of clothes Theo bought for Aoba and set them on the lounge chair in the room, bowing to them both before leaving them alone and closed the door behind themselves.

“It was scary seeing someone in the state you were in. I didn't know a panic attack could be like that...” Theo admitted as he covered Aoba's body with the blanket. “I didn't know what to do but try to calm you down, Aoba-san. Not sure if it worked but...”

“It's okay, Theo... You were there so it helped...” Aoba assured the blond and smiled at him weakly. “My head really hurts...” he murmured out loud.

“I have painkillers you can take.”

“Nah.... I don't think they would work. I just need rest.” Aoba then looked up at Theo then smiled at him ruefully. “Thank you for helping me. And for the clothes.”

“You're welcome, Aoba-san.”

Theo's words were the last thing Aoba heard before the drowsiness overcame him and he closed his eyes. He hoped he would be able to sleep well for once and not dream about the ones who had hurt him. Aoba's body finally relaxed as he let his mind drift into the sea of dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:** I forgot to mention last time, that I have added more warnings to this fanfiction since it's publication. I felt like I should be careful with it since it does get heavy in various places. Sometimes, I can't remember what warnings to add until after I publish a fanfiction or with multi chapter fanfictions, I add warnings as I go.
> 
> I get such anxiety when I am painfully aware when people are staring at me in public. So I constantly avoid eye contact. Maybe people aren't staring at me but I feel like they are if I happen to look less than appealing that day. It does get a bit frustrating when they stare at me for an extended period so I feel Aoba's emotions from the beginning of the chapter, obviously.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the huge delay of this chapter. I had gotten sick with a bad stomach virus. (It only lasted a couple of days but I didn't eat a full meal for a week.) Then I became stressed and dealt with more emotional issues in my personal life along with writer's block. So that kind of put the production of this chapter behind schedule... Thanks so much for the nice comments and kudos I've been receiving so far~ You guys are wonderful! I do hope this chapter was good! I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll try to get another chapter posted as soon as possible~~ ♥


	5. Faith

A couple of hours went by well after Aoba went to sleep. The blond watched him sleep and wondered how the other male's state of mind really is. He did have a really bad anxiety attack earlier and it honestly terrified him. Never in his life had he seen anyone have something like that. It was lucky he acted on instinct and stayed beside Aoba during the whole thing and he had no regrets either. Even as one of the maids came to him with the message that his parents wanted to speak with him. Theo became a little nervous then but not just about himself. What his parents were probably going to talk to him about was probably Aoba.

It had to be the reason he's being summoned since he has done well to cater to their demands and expectations. Theo looked at the sleeping Aoba again and wished he didn't have to leave his side. The blond teenager stood to his feet, still staring at the blue haired male when the maid politely suggested again he should hurry along.

“Theo-sama, are you worried about him?” she asked, after noticing how the blond stared at the blue haired male sleeping. Theo nodded. “He will be fine. There's no need to worry.”

Hearing that, Theo wanted to argue with the maid and tell her she hadn't seen the anxiety attack Aoba had earlier nor does she know what he had been through. He really wanted to say something to her about that but he held his tongue. Despite being the young master of this household, he didn't want to be a rude person. It just wasn't in him to be so mean to anyone or speak out forcefully.

“I don't want to leave him but I know I have to...” he murmured, feeling the desire to touch the top of Aoba's head. His hand did twitch and reached out a little towards the sleeping male but he stopped at the last moment, his hand inches away from touching a strand of Aoba's beautiful blue hair. Instead, he had adjusted the blanket on Aoba to cover his thin frame.

 _'Aoba-san... He looks peaceful while sleeping... I hope he is having nice dreams.'_ he thought to himself then he hesitantly turned his back to Aoba and sighed. There is no way he can drag this out any longer, knowing what might happen if he does. He made his feet move forward as the maid still in the room with him bowed as he walked past her and out of the bedroom. The mansion was large but it wasn't like it was miles long and he needed a small cart to get from place to place. At least he knew that his parents couldn't be far from where he was. So it should take a few minutes to get to his destination.

Walking to see his parents made Theo anxious because of his father in particular. It made his body feel heavy and it was like he was being dragged down to the bottom of the sea by two weights attached to his ankles. He knew it wasn't a good thing to talk with his father. Last time he did was when he got a low grade on one of his tests. The result of that was his father shunning him for a few weeks and Theo closing himself off from the rest of the world, studying until his heart's content. Who knows what is going to happen this time?

 _'He should be in his study. Father always spends a lot of time there.'_ The blond turned a corner after walking down a long corridor. He politely greeted the few maids that were cleaning the area and they greeted him back more politely. It was their job to and they adored how Theo treated them. Being polite to whoever he passed so casually didn't ease his worries about his parents wanting to see him immediately. He arrived at the study and hesitated, his heart beating a mile a minute. He took a deep breath before he knocked on the door.

“Come in.” a demanding voice belonging to a man resonated from the other side of the door. It made the blond flinch in place slightly then opened the door slowly. Once the door was open, his father was in his field of vision, his mother standing right by his side. The man had a very serious look on his face and Theo almost wanted to avert his eyes but he didn't. He stood in place as he glanced around the room for a moment.

“Theo, come inside. I rather not talk to you while you're standing in the door. Close the door behind you.” He did as his father had asked and then advanced closer to him until he was five feet away, standing in front of his desk.

“I... I apologize for making you wait, father. I needed to take care of something first.” he explained calmly, a hint of nervousness still lingered in his tone of voice.

“You mean someone.” The man corrected. It was then Theo had looked away, feeling ashamed for his act of pure kindness to another. “Theodore, need I remind you what your real priorities are? Since your brother is missing, it's up to you to learn the ropes of running the company that will be yours someday if not very soon. You shouldn't let yourself get distracted by anyone who strides across your path. You should know that.”

“I know that, father. He... Aoba-san may help us find brother and he also needed help... I had to help him.” Theo protested without meaning to, his voice raising slightly in irritation. “Father, there's something about him. I don't know what but I feel like he'll lead us back to brother or lead him back to us...” His father raised an eyebrow at his words, finding it incredulous and silly to assume the impossible.

“So you're going to trust a stranger to help us find Wilhelm?” The man asked bluntly, dismissing the possibility of that happening. Theo nodded just before his father let out a wry chuckle. “He ran off when he was fifteen years old, Theodore. It's obvious he doesn't want to be found.”

“Theodore, sweetheart, I know you want to see your older brother again. However, you must accept the inevitable. I'm sorry.”

That may be true. Theo knew all too well his older brother had ran away and had been gone for over five years. No one has even heard a single word from him or even found any promising leads as strange as that was to them. The family wondered if their oldest son could actually be dead about now. It bothered Theo to see how his parents are handling the situation. Not like they had come to accept the possibility of Wilhelm being dead but more like they don't care. However, Theo doesn't intend to give up. He wants to find his brother and see if he's alright. Whether or not the older blond will want to come home is not up to Theo. He wants his beloved brother to decide that himself, though he knows what that answer may be considering what happened most of his life with their parents.

As he thought about the many scenarios in his head, Theo took a deep breath then exhaled calmly before opening his mouth.

“It's fine if he doesn't want to come home. If I and Aoba-san manage to find him, I won't force my brother to come home.” he said, casting his eyes down to his feet for a moment then met his father's eyes. “I have faith that we'll find Wilhelm. Just… It will take a little more time.”

 _'I really believe this.'_ He thought to himself while both of his parents give him a discerning look. Despite this, the blond still held his ground as he stated his reasons for being so focused on a foreigner he had met in less than forty-eight hours. He didn't know why but he got this feeling as soon as he laid his eyes upon Aoba for the first time. Like he knows he is the one who will lead him to his brother. Sure, Theo had made a deal with Aoba that he will help him get back home to his family if he could find his brother. But Theo also wanted to help Aoba in dealing with whatever he is dealing with. At least he wouldn't only be using him for his own purposes.

“About this foreigner—”

“Aoba.” Theo corrected his father quickly before he ended up shying back a little. His father gave him a displeased look.

“Well, are you sure you can trust him? This Aoba, as you call him? We are well aware he is from Japan and we are able to understand everything he says should we end up talking to him later on. I just want to know if he's just telling you he can find your brother just so you can help him get back to his home country?” Theo's father asked, not ashamed of openly showing his doubts about Aoba.

“It's true he wants to go back home because he is in Germany without being aware of it first. However, Aoba-san says he wants to help find brother. I believe him.”

“Theodore, he is a complete stranger. You shouldn't trust him so easily.” Theo's mother chimed in, wanting to give her opinion on Aoba. It bothered the blond to know his parents held such little trust in Aoba despite not talking to him directly first.

“I know I shouldn't but I just have this feeling that I can trust him to help us out. And...” Theo let out a small sigh as he closed his eyes for a short moment then opened them again. “I think he needs our help as well. Aoba has been through a lot. From his behavior whenever anyone tries to touch him, something bad has happened to him...”

“What happened to him then?” The man asked his son and watched him fidget in place.

“I don't think I can tell either of you. It isn't my place to tell anyway.”

“He is the one who is in our home. I think you can tell us whatever issue he is dealing with so we can get him the proper help he needs before sending him on his way.”

“I can't...”

“Theo—” His mother began.

“I should get back to Aoba-san. He might be worried with me not being there. We will end up finding my brother together.” Theo then hurriedly tries to leave the room just when his father's words reach his ears.

“Theodore, remember your main goal. Don't get distracted by trivial matters.” The blond male then leaves the room, his mood having already been soured by the harsh words of his parents.

Fortunately for his parents, Theo did think over on what his father had said and immediately disagreed with the 'trivial matters' part. And he knew all too well that was directed at Aoba. It wasn't like Theo intended to get distracted. Not at all. He just wanted to help Aoba as much as Aoba decided to help him in return. The feelings of wanting to help each other were mutual. It is why Theo refuses to think Aoba is merely a distraction from his business studies. Despite the fact he finds the blue haired male rather attractive. That part will stay a secret from his parents and Aoba, too.

As he made his way back to his room, the male realized he doesn't know much about Aoba other than the fact he is from Japan. Maybe if he got to know the blue haired male, he would be more at ease with trusting him and he could prove to his parents Aoba is someone who can be trusted. Theo feels like he could trust the blue haired male already. However, he still doesn't know much about him. He felt bad for even assuming Aoba may be using him. His father and mother had put these thoughts into his head and he needed to put those thoughts to rest as soon as possible. He didn't want a reason to not trust Aoba or even worse, throw him out into the streets without a clue on where to go. There was no way he even had the heart to do something so mean.

 _'I know Aoba-san has been through a lot for quite a while. Maybe if I can get a peek into what his life was before, I can see what kind of person he really is…'_ Theo thought, frowning slightly. _'I kind of want to get to know him so we could possibly become friends.'_

The blond finally returned to the guest room and was relieved to see that the maid was still in the room with Aoba, though she was reading a book to pass the time. She noticed Theo entering the room and stood up, setting the book down for a moment so she could greet the male properly.

“Welcome back, Theo-sama.” she said, bowing.

“Thank you for watching over Aoba-san.” Theo said, smiling slightly. “Has he woken up at all?”

“He's been asleep the entire time you were absent. Though I am a little concerned about his dreams. He had been tossing and turning a few minutes ago...” The maid looked like she wanted to ask a question but she knew she shouldn't pry, thinking she might be treading a very sensitive subject.

“I see...” Theo looked over at the sleeping Aoba as the maid grabbed her book. “Thank you for your help. I didn't want him to wake up and find that I had left him.”

“It's no problem at all.” The maid glanced over at Theo who couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Aoba. She smiled to herself then took it upon herself to ask him an important question. “You seem to have grown attached to him, haven't you, Theo-sama?”

“I guess you can say that.” he chuckled then sat down in the chair next to the bed. “I only met him a couple of days ago and I feel like I should keep him close, you know?”

“I can imagine. I mean, if it's not too bold of me to say but I think keeping Aoba-san with you might be a good thing. What with your preparations to become the heir to your father's company.”

“It's not too bold. Even though I want to help him get back home, working together to find my brother would be a nice change of pace.”

“Do you think he is the one who will lead you to find Wilhelm-sama?”

“I do. Even if there's the possibility of us never finding him.”

“You'll find him. And should Aoba-san return to Japan after that, I hope the two of you stay friends if you happen to build your relationship with him to that point.” Hearing this from the maid was so reassuring.

“Thank you. Really.” And Theo really meant it from the bottom of his heart. He really was grateful for this maid's help.

“You are very welcome,” The maid said, bowing. “Well, I better get back to work but I will come by to check on you and Aoba-san as much as I possibly can.”

“Alright.” Theo responded as the maid soon left the room with a small wave to the blond, closing the door behind herself.

After she had left, Theo turned his now undivided attention to Aoba who seems to be sleeping peacefully. It made Theo ponder on what kind of dream he is having along with the other things that made him irrevocably curious about Aoba. For the younger male, he thought that Aoba was entirely shrouded in mystery. Here he was wandering around in Germany with no clue what to do when Theo ends up stumbling upon him. It was a good thing he came along than whoever had held the older male captive for a long while. In a foreign country without his knowledge no less. One would think how could that be possible? However, it was possible and Theo couldn't imagine how terrified Aoba must have been moments before he found him.

It was obvious to Theo on what happened to Aoba before they met but he won't bring it up intentionally. Well, at least he won't try to until he is sure Aoba wants to talk about it. Theo wants to know but he will not try to pry for answers and he hopes his parents won't try to get answers from Aoba either. At the moment, Theo isn't sure how long he can keep his parents from interrogating Aoba. Not that it would surprise him they would end up asking him questions but Theo wishes to prevent that from happening for at least a while.

While he thinks of ways he can protect Aoba from his parents, Theo mind trails off to thoughts about Japan. He wondered how it looked other from the pictures and what part of Japan Aoba is from. Was that part of Japan as beautiful as the pictures of Okinawa or even Tokyo? He now felt curious about it. Maybe that was where his brother ran off to. There weren't any other countries he even came close to finding him in so Japan is practically his only bet as hopeless as it sounds.

 _'I'll find you soon, Wilhelm… And we can help Aoba get home too.'_ he thought to himself as he watched Aoba sleep, thinking how this attractive person may know his brother.

Honestly, there wasn't a good percent chance of finding his older brother in Japan but Theo is really hopeful of it being possible. He has a feeling Aoba will be the one to lead him to Japan and find his brother. There was a link between him and Aoba. There was just the matter of finding the exact link.

And finding that link Theo will do with Aoba's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:** Yooooo~ Long time, no update right? That was my bad but also the fault of my laptop for losing the freaking file...
> 
> I wanted to make this chapter centered on Theo and somewhat his parents who are honestly jerks. Well maybe it's just his father who is the jerk and the mother is just enabling that... Disappointing, right? I need Theo's (and Noiz's) parents to have names because seriously. 눈_눈 Maybe I will look up some nice names for them eventually.
> 
> By the way, I have no idea how long this fanfiction should be. I want to say 15 to 20 chapters but who knows. (We are already at chapter 5.) I am extremely terrible at planning things like this.
> 
> Oh, since mid April 2015, I have been without wifi so I will do my best to attempt to update this and other fanfictions through my phone (that I am borrowing) while I can. I hope you all can understand... ^^ Well, as usual, I hope this chapter suffices and any constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you so much for your comments and kudos~! Hope to see you wonderful people next time! ♥


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